There's a new village idiot in town

During parliamentary question time in New Zealand last week, a recommendation was made by a member of the opposition party that New Zealand should look at the direction Finland had taken in trying to revitalise their economy, through the use of innovation and talent. The reply from the ruling National government head spokesperson for the day, the Right Honorable Gerry Brownlee was swift, brutal, and defied belief. After what was presumably a degree of pondering, Gerry announced that it would be madness to follow a country such as Finland which "has worse unemployment than us, can hardly feed the people who live there, has a terrible homicide rate, hardly educates their people and has no respect for women".

Yup, you heard it right. He said exactly that. But hey, maybe our Gerry knows his stuff. After all, he is an elected member of parliament, and we all know that those guys know their shit. So before we pass premature judgement on Gerry Brownlee, let's take a quick snapshot of the calibre and credentials of the idiot in question:

Since entering Parliament, Gerry has held roles as minister of Superannuation, Energy, Economic Development, ACC (accident health care), Transport, Local Government, Rugby World Cup (yes, that was a real job), and Earthquake Recovery. Talk about a guy who can't hold down a job. The reality is that he stays there long enough to make a complete arse of things, before getting quietly shuffled along to the next role.

As the minister for Economic Development he announced to the Parliament that he had specific targets and milestones for improving NZ's economic position in relation to other countries. When backed into a corner he was forced to admit that he didn't have any specific targets or milestones, but thought it would be a pretty good idea to try and improve our position. Sure, lying changes everything.

He owned personal shares in State owned assets while sitting in government which decided over those assets, helping Gerry's Economic Development.

He changed the law in order to shut down a union which supported actors seeking fair pay. Did wonders for the Economic Development of those people

As the Energy Minister he reversed a ban on the sale of incandescant lightbulbs which required people to buy energy efficient lightbulbs. (way to lead from the front, Gerry).

He took the second most expensive apartment (payed for by the taxpayer) of any sitting politician. It is also the largest. Who decided which politician got which house ? None other than our Gerry Brownlee. That one should probably be filed under Economic Development also. Gerry's.

His latest role as minister in charge of earthquake recovery is a new job specifically to deal with the rebuild of property in the earthquake damaged city of Christchurch. The perfect job for someone who lives in the city and is a property developer in the city. Not such a perfect position for someone who also has complete autonomy over any new property developments. No conflict there, Gerry.

Immediately following the Christchurch earthquakes, he went on national radio and denouced those families who had left the affected suburbs which now had no running water, sewerage system or electricity, after their homes were destroyed, as being "deserters".

When challenged about government insurance payouts following the Christchurch earthquakes, his sole response was to publish the personal insurance claim of the person who dared to challenge him.

Glowing credentials indeed.

Gerry Brownlee, here's some stuff you might have missed during your indepth search of Wikipedia. In 2011, Finland ranked higher than New Zealand in terms of economic prosperity. Probably means that they can feed themselves, Gerry. Finland also trounced New Zealand in healthcare and safety. In a survey measuring the difference in wealth betwen different parts of society in a country, Finland came in second, one place behind Japan. New Zealand was placed 6th from the bottom. OECD figures showed that family home incomes in Finland were 30% higher than those in New Zealand, while New Zealand had more than 4 times more families living below the poverty line than Finland. Again, Gerry, I think that probably means that the average Finn can feed themselves better than the average Kiwi. New Zealand has twice as many children as Finland living in overcrowded homes. New Zealand's infant mortality rate is twice that of Finland. Finland tops the world in average acedemic achievements for children, followed by Korea, Canada, and New Zealand. More than 40% of those people sitting in Finland's parliament today are women. As opposed to New Zealand's 30%. Starting to see a pattern forming, Gerry Brownlee ? Or do I need to drop a few more cookie crumbs to grab your attention ?

Gerry Brownlee, you've always been a complete ignorant dickhead. Fortunately, up until now, you've been a carefully hidden ignorant dickhead. Now we have to deal with the fact that the whole world has discovered that we've been hiding an ignorant dickhead in our cupboard. Thanks for dumping that one on us, pal. My ever reliable crystal ball sees another side step being planned for you as we speak. Minister of Pie Eating sound about right ? Drop kick.

Another night with the U.N.

Couldn't really be bothered going to school last night. Been feeling a bit off colour for a few days now. But, I'm glad that I did. We ended up having a combined class as one of the other teachers was away sick. Or couldn't be arsed turning up. As we were all working at different levels, the lesson plan was quickly chucked out the window. We got split up into groups for an hour of general chat in Swedish. A bit of a time waste, but I got paired up with 4 other people I hadn't met before. Turned out ok though. One of my goals here is to spent some time travelling Russia and the Ukraine. For no particular reason other than that it fascinates me. Ukraine is a bit tricky to get around, from the looks of things. Saint Petersburgh, on the other hand, is just a 90 minute flight from Stockholm. And one can ride a leg of the Trans Siberian railway to Moscow from there. I'm pretty keen on that. So, anyway. We do the standard introductions around our group, and I find out that I'll be spending the next 60 minutes with a guy from Saint Petersburg, 2 girls from Moscow, and a Ukranian grandmother. I couldn't believe my luck. And I couldn't believe that I was considering such a thing to be luck either. To sum up, 60 minutes turned into 2 hours of me quizzing them on their home country. In Swedish, of course. And gettting everything I needed from hotels to bus time tables. I now need to find a group of Egyptian students.

The Glory of Sport

Time for a real good smack around the head posting. This time, it's nothing against Sweden. It concerns a New Zealand athlete competing at the winter olympics. Now, NZ is a small country. Just 4 million hardy souls living there. And not really known for prowess in winter sports. Funding is an issue, as there's not a lot of it to go around. Standards for selection are pretty high, as a result. So I was dead chuffed to see that about a dozen or so athletes had made it to the Olympics. With that will come television coverage, and with that will come an increased interest in the various events, leading hopefully to higher performance levels. The trickle down effect. Following the 2008 summer Olympics, a NZ female marathon runner was found to have tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. She was immediately condemned and dumped by pretty much the entire country. And rightly so, in my opinion. There can never, ever, be an excuse. Not when a country has just paid for all your costs, and deprived someone else of attending. Now we have the winter olympics. And what happens ? Two days before his first event, a NZ skier, PAID FOR BY THE PEOPLE OF NZ TO ATTEND, is removed from the starting list. Because of "abnormal blood cell readings". The official word out of the NZ camp (and this is what REALLY pissed me off) was that the reading was a result of the athlete training at altitude prior to the games. And that's why his reading was the same as the reading for those who had taken performance enhancing drugs. Choosing to not start in the event meant that he avoided any official drug testing requirements. Ben Koons ! How frickin stupid do you think we are ??? Do you really expect us to believe that you deliberately went out and undertook an activity that would give the same effect, and result, as taking a performance enhancing drug ? Pull the other one. You're a bloody cheat. And I want my money back from you. Why do you think, Ben, (assuming wildly that you are perhaps telling the truth) that no other athlete was up there training with you on the top of Mount Everest ? Because they know it's cheating, you twat !!! Changing the composition of your blood is banned ! That's why they don't allow the drugs !! Sheesh, someone must have been dropped on their head as a baby. The story of the illustrious Ben Koons is not done with yet. A week after being removed from the 15km event, he starts out in the 30km event. Leads the race for the first 3 metres. Is 3oth about about 50 metres, last place shortly after, and finally lapped and disqualified after 5km. But you have to admire the eternal optimism here. The official reaction to a justly deserved arse kicking is: "we're confident of a top performance in the 50km event" Ben, buddy, HELLO !!!! You dropped out after 5km of a 30km race. What do you think it going to happen in a race nearly twice as long ? Give me strength here. Ben, you're a national disgrace, and you should probably stay in Aspen. Or where ever you're hiding out these days. We don't want you back. Unless it's to repay the money we've all spent on your holiday.