In sickness and in health

Part of my absence from blogging last month was due to a kind of illness that I had/have been struggling with. I'm kind of used to feeling a bit unwell at this time of year. With the change of season and especially the change in daylight being so dramatic, it rather takes my body by shock. I typically get a dose of the cold around this time. This year it has been a little different. At first I thought  was about to get a dose of the flu. There had been quite a few people around the office who had been off sick with a nasty flu bug doing the rounds. I starting feeling really achey in my upper body and got so incredibly tired. I could manage about  6 hours of proper work and then I was completely exhausted. I braced myself for the inevitable, but nothing else really happened. I was just kind of stuck at that "will it or won't it" phase. Which is is the most annoying phase.

At the same time this was starting, I was entering into a stressful part of my current work project. I had a major package to deliver and I was struggling to get all the information I needed in order to complete on time. The last thing I could afford was to be sick. Sometimes I think that these things are a bit of mind over matter at times. In my case at least. I hear someone coughing and I instantly think that my throat is starting to swell. Probably should see someone about that. Anyway, I figure that the reverse should apply at times. I tell myself that I haven't got time to be sick at the moment and more often than not it works. Not always so simple, naturally.

So here I am some 6 weeks later. Whatever it was, or is, it hasn't gotten any worse. Possibly it's a little better but I'm still very much struggling for energy. If I had to put my money anywhere, I'd say that this is more stress related than anything else. If that's the case, then it's my own fault. A few years ago I had a minor heart issue which resulted in a few dodgy internal parts getting an upgrade. Since then I've been mindful not to get myself into stressful situations. Some of the strange body feelings I have been experiencing of late are a little too similar to those I experienced back then, for my liking. It gave me a slightly anxious week or so, but I figured that if I hadn't died after that then it probably wasn't related. Had I still been in NZ I would have controlled my work situation a lot better to ensure that it never came to this point. However, despite this being my fifth year in Sweden, I'm still very much feeling my way through the system. So I've learnt something more about how to get what I need, the Swedish way. Another one of those cultural things which are just different, without being able to explain why or how. You would have to experience both to understand.

I'm hoping now that I've turned the corner. Last week I had one bad day when I really felt completely exhausted. For the most part I'm ok running at about 70% energy. 70% seems to keep me at the same pace as everyone else here, so it could be worse.