Lost in Translation (again)

Well, the Swedish heats for Eurovision (Melodifestivalen) have come and gone. Now it's done to nail biting until May. Sweden differs a little from the other participating countries in that it is primarily the public who decide the winning entry, through telephone voting. As opposed to other countries where the final winner is selected by broadcasters and music industry people. Which makes us, I think, a bit more exciting. The downside is that the majority of votes come from people who use their phones the most. So the latest teen craze from Swedish Idol stands a pretty good shot of getting through, regardless of his/her shoddy talents. In the end, I think that the best of a bad bunch was selected. Maybe I'm too old for the competition, but I thought there were far superior acts who were knocked out during the heats. But that's democracy for you.

Anyway, we were having a discussion about why it was that so many of the Swedish hopefuls insisted on singing in English. And that is a bit weird. It doesn't help them one bit when they come to Eurovision, as the majority of the other countries (whom Sweden will rely on for votes) are not comfortable with English on a daily basis. People vote for the music and dancing, not for the lyrics, and I personally think that the song representing a country should do exactly that: Represent the country. Absolutely nothing wrong with singing in Swedish, Sweden has managed to win the Eurovision contest with a Swedish language song before.

Swedes are rather funny when it comes to English. There is the perception outside of Sweden that all Swedes are fluent in English. Personally, I think that most Swedes rather like that perception. The reality is not quite as idealistic. Beginning in the 1950s, all Swedes learnt English in school as a compulsary subject. However, 90% of them never spoke a word of it again once they walked out of the school gates. But they can generally understand English quite well, and can speak not too badly when backed into a corner. But that's a long way from being fluent. Even the best English speaking Swede will never be a native English speaker. Sure, the average 13 year Swede has a better grasp of English than I do of Swedish. But then I don't think I'm ever going to be in danger of proclaiming myself as a fluent speaker of Swedish.

The problem is that, as a nation, they have nothing to benchmark their English skills against. They all speak and sound the same. A couple of months back I was visiting a professional colleague in an office block. He introduced me to his office neighbour who was a New Zealander who had been living in Sweden for 17 years. It was a bit of a thrill for both of us, and we had a good old chat (bitch session) about the motherland. At one point he took a telephone call, which was in Swedish. As I listened to him, it immediately struck me how horrible his Swedish sounded. It was terrible. Then it occurred to me that I must sound exactly the same way. We don't hear our own voices. I speak with native Swedes and I think that I'm speaking exactly as they are. When, in fact, I'm speaking this rather strange variation of the language which is the linguistic equivalent of mould spores. This was a bombshell. So it is with the majority of Swedes speaking English. Apart from the terrible habit of trundling out movie cliques and catchy phrases (which native English speakers of the country don't use and can spot a mile away) in order to try and prove fluency, it just sounds wrong. Not wrong in a bad way (mostly) but obviously different and forced. An unfortunate aspect of Swedish English is that their natural accents tend to turn English into dialogue sounding straight out of a B grade American movie. Not having a crack at them, it's just the way it is. But another good reason not to try and enhance your skills by throwing movie cliques into the conversation.

All of which takes me back to the English language songs in Melodifestvalen. It was a real struggle for me to pick up the lyrics being sung in English. My Swedish wife had it easier, because she's used to the quirky style of Swedish English. But, as a native English speaker, all I picked up was that it wasn't right. And it annoyed me. Which I'm sure was not the effect the artist was going for. Ironically I understood more lyrics in the Swedish language songs, than I did in the English versions. Possibly a message there from your target audience.

Swedish is a lovely language. It would be nice if Swedes could embrace it more instead of thinking that the world wants them to be something they are not.